Operation and ICU

Welcome to the continued story of Alexander Michael Zarzana. A five year old boy who endured brain surgery to remove two Arterio Venous Malformations from the right frontal lobe. This is the third of seven posts on this blog written in the form of a letter to my son Alex. I pray they encourage you. If you are reading this blog for the first time, I encourage you to start on the first posting of the series so that you can enjoy the story from the beginning. This blog series is being written for four reasons:

1. To strengthen the faith of my young son Alexander on the day that he is able to read this blog for himself. We serve a God who does great things.

2. To encourage parents who may go through the same type of struggle that Joanne and I did. 

3. To give due thanks for the nurses, doctors, and surgeons that took amazing care of our little Alex.

4. To give glory, honor and thanks to the Lord who brought our son back home to us.

Alexander the Brave One

July 3rd Continued (Day of Surgery)

Your mother and I walked to the waiting room and greeted our family and friends. Lot's of concerned looks crossed our eyes. Not many words were spoken, but the worry was evident. I sat down next to your grandpa and he put his arm around me. I looked up at him and smiled in thanks for the embrace. "You okay son?". "As okay as I can be Dad" I responded back. "You sure are a strong man." I was grateful for the encouragement but I turned my head down and didn't respond. I didn't feel strong. The feeling that 'everything was going to be okay' had dissipated a bit. I sat in the waiting room with loved ones around, but felt alone. Only my thoughts felt near as I wondered if you would be fine. Thoughts of struggle and doubt began to grow as I had an internal conversation with God:

Lord, you know I trust you, I know my son is in Your hands. But I don't know what I would do if you took him from me. I don't think I could handle it. 

I didn't linger on the thought for long. But fear momentarily surfaced in my mind. Rather than hang on the thought, I got up and asked if anyone was hungry. After some discussion, we all decided to have lunch together in the cafeteria downstairs. It was a comfort for mommy and daddy to be among people we love. After eating, everyone headed back to the waiting room. After a couple hours passed, some of the family and friends decided it was time to depart. It was great having everyone near to talk and catch up. But  sometimes a mother and father just need to be alone with their thoughts, especially when they are waiting for their child to get out of a major surgery. 

As time passed, I journaled and read the Bible for comfort. There were a couple times that I thought about sleeping, but doing such a thing felt impossible. I was too anxious to close my eyes. Every minute and every hour passed by slowly as I waited in anticipation for your surgery to end. I sat alone, sought after peace, and I can say that it was found in spending time with God. That is where I have always found peace, even in the greatest of tribulations. You can find it too son. God is always there.

Five hours into your surgery, Great grandpa Mel and grandma Lila showed up to visit. Their hugs and warm greetings were refreshing. After spending a couple hours with your mommy and I, they departed and Aunt Emily showed up soon after around 9 pm. We sat for another half hour before Dr. Baird came out to the waiting area at 9:30 pm. My eyes looked up at her in hopes of getting a read on how the surgery went, but her body language and eyes gave me no indicators. Dr. Baird calmly walked to us and clasped her hands together asking "Are you ready to hear how things went?"  We both stood up and followed her into the consultation room. The news was delivered that the surgery went amazingly; but there were some concerns. Questions of how strong your mobility on the left side would be was unknown. We would have to wait and see when you woke up. 

We walked into the room where you slept and looked at the incision on your head. The cut began at 3 inches above your right ear and straight across the middle of your head to the upper left side. It was a really clean cut that many doctors and nurses admired. The nurses rolled you in to the ICU where you were to be assessed. Mommy and daddy anxiously waited for you to wake up and wondered how much you would be able to do after the surgery. Since the AVM's were in your right frontal lobe, we wondered if you would had retained the motor skills to move your left side? We also wondered if you would be able to walk again? Would you wake up as the same person? Would you be able to talk? These were but a few of the many questions that worried mommy and daddy. After about twenty minutes in the ICU you regained consciousness. Just seeing you open your eyes was a relief. With smiles and joy mommy and daddy greeted you and gave you gentle hugs. You struggled out the words, "Could I get some water?". Mommy and daddy smiled at each other as we heard you speak. We asked the nurse for water and she quickly came back with a water bottle and straw. You took small sips while laying on your side. After having some time to wake up, the nurse asked if you could smile but you weren't much in the mood to.

Video of Alex after surgery

The nurse alerted the doctor that you had awoke. The doctor came in to test the movement on your left side but you were too tired to respond to his requests. Whether you would be able to move your left side would have to be assessed the next day. You slept through the whole night after going through ten hours of surgery and mommy and daddy stayed in the room with you. I laid on a couch behind your bed and fell asleep around 11 pm. Mommy set herself up in a chair right next to you all night. It looked really uncomfortable. I tried to encourage her to lay in the bed but she wanted to stay by your side. I don't think she slept much because she worried that you might wake up and pull out your IV's. We were both happy and content with the results we had seen so far and held confidence that we would eventually see you move your left side. But that assurance would have to wait until morning...

To Be Continued 01 September 2014.

Interested in supporting the author of this blog? You can do so by purchasing his book, "The Son Who Chases the Father" found at chasethefather.com 

Joshua Zarzana can also be found on Facebook or Twitter.

Thank you for reading.