Day before Alex's surgery

Welcome to the story of Alexander Michael Zarzana. A five year old boy who endured brain surgery to remove two Arterio Venous Malformations from the right frontal lobe. There will be seven posts on this particular blog and I pray they encourage you. This letter is being written for four reasons:

1. To strengthen the faith of my young son Alexander on the day that he is able to read this blog for himself. We serve a God who does great things.

2. To encourage parents who may go through the same type of struggle that Joanne and I did. 

3. To give due thanks for the nurses, doctors, and surgeons that took amazing care of our little Alex.

4. To give glory, honor and thanks to the Lord who brought our son back home to us.

Alexander the Brave One

July 2nd: The Day Before Your Surgery

My son Alexander,

We are travelling from our home, Lacey, Wa, to remove two Arterio Venous Malformations (AVM's) from your right frontal lobe. Your mother and I have stressed deeply over this trip for the last year. Over the weekend we got into a couple disagreements due to the angst that we felt. Our fear of losing you or not returning home as the boy we have always known was heavy on our heart. We wondered at times if we were making the right decision in putting you through the challenge of being in the hospital for an extended time with the danger of you never being able to recover to full strength. Rest assured that every decision made up to this moment was a prayerful choice placed first in the hands of God.

We drove toward Gresham, OR on our way to Grandma Karen's. Your mother took the first length of the trip while I took a 45 minute nap after working a long day at work. I added stress to my day by locking my keys in the car just before the work day was over. I was afraid that I may not be able to make it home on time to travel as planned to Gresham, but everything worked out. Your mom pulled over at a gas station half way through the trip to use the restroom. We bought you some sour crawly gummy worms. You ate about half the pack before your mom put a stop to your sugar overdose. "Not too much before the surgery" she said. She is always doing what is best for you.

I drove the rest of the trip to Gresham. We enjoyed some hot dogs, chips and watermelon at Grandma's before celebrating our 4th of July two days early. Grandma Karen and Grandpa Mike purchased some fireworks to put on a show for you and your brother Christian. Our dear friends, who care about you deeply, Taylor and Melissa, showed up to celebrate the festivities with us. The first firework we lit was a sparkler for you and your brother Christian. You were a bit careless with the sparkler even though Mommy and Daddy warned you to be cautious. At one point, you let the sparkler get too close to Aunt Jenah and one of the sparks almost fell on your foot. 

Alex playing with a sparkler

The family laughed at the moment and then lit off a number of other fireworks while we cuddled as a family. The only thing better than the fireworks was the look of amazement on the faces of you and your brother during the show. After the night was over, we brushed our teeth and put you in your new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle pajamas that Grandma had bought for you. You chose those over your Max Steel pajamas that mommy picked up for you. We walked into the bedroom that Grandma Karen and Aunt Susie set up for your recovery at home. Those two ladies spent significant time cleaning and getting your room set up. They purchased two Mario Kart comforters, one for you and one for your brother. Above the bed frames hung Ninja Turtle Posters. 

Brother Christian in your Recovery Bedroom

We finished the night off with reading the Bible and cuddled up for bed. Daddy tried to sleep with you but you said you wanted Mommy instead. I reluctantly heeded your request but enjoyed sleeping with your brother Christian in the other bed. After telling a made up fairy tale about your saving the world on a golden dragon, I watched you fall asleep and wondered that night if this was the last time we would cuddle together as a family. The thought didn't keep me up all night. I was able to fall asleep within a half hour, but I found out the next day that your mother woke up worried on multiple occasions in the middle of the night. She tends to worry about you more than me and one reason for that is that she loves you sooo much. I love you too, but I fell asleep, as I always do, knowing that God has you in His hand. Even if the surgery turns for the worst and you never come home, I know without a doubt that we will meet in heaven my son. Mommy knows this too, but she would do almost anything, to keep you around for as long as possible. I love you deeply, and honestly, I was jealous that mommy got to cuddle with you all night before your surgery.

To be continued on... August 11, 2014.

Interested in supporting the author of this blog? You can do so by purchasing his book, "The Son Who Chases the Father" found at chasethefather.com 

Joshua Zarzana can also be found on Facebook or Twitter

Thank you for reading.